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Halusinasi.Do to others what you want for yourself.Relationship.

December 22, 2008

Been really busy. Theres a saying ‘time will always be ahead of us’. True, true. Currently, undergoing theatre training for coming arts festival. Which is fun but muscle-wearing. And i didn’t eat much for quite a while, since am really worried I’d vomit it out afterward due to rigourous training. Yea, I know. I made it sound like its a sport training. But, the truth is : it does seem as such. My t-shirt is drenched in sweat, and that happen before warming up exercise ended. Kinda, worried on how I could manage all this churning of energy plus sports training when semester start next week.pheww!

I’ve joined the theatre team “halusinasi” since my first year in UM. Its my rebellious stand. I joined a team that is less popular at that time. The rage are on boria team and tarian team. Which is due to their achievement on past arts festival. I doubted myself. I’m not a lively person. I don’t have the joker charms that everyone seems to be having in the team. But, I like observing. And one of my quality (I hope is true) is I want to learn. We didn’t win that year. Even so, I felt full of myself for putting forth a good performance. Come the second year, with a new director we achieve greatness. We won first place. Even after all the scepticism and dissing, with all the difficulties (financial and red tape) and uncontrolable people mouths, we won. This winning taught me something : believe, first you need to believe.

Yesterday was the seventh day of training. Some, has proven they have the natural gift of acting. Most, including me, have to learn. It has not been easy tho. I’m suppose to be carrying a role that is fundamentally and more or less like last year. But, it has to be different. Totally different. Its confusing, and has been giving me quite a headache figuring it out. But, like I’ve stated and borrowed for quite sometime “All in good time”. I’ll figure it out.

Throughout all this, I did made some observation. There are people who never know when to stop. There’s also people who is always wanting, and didn’t bother giving. Theres the attention seeker. A handful of them. All this, I can take in my stride, But, theres one that throws me into a vacuum of emotion and question their real intention. I’ve tried. I’ve been extra nice and accomodative to them. To a point where it poses somekind of extra work for me. And no I didn’t mind at all. Thats what friends are for. But, is it wrong to expect a little help now and then too? It boggled me. To a point where I felt, if I don’t have a car, then theres no point of having me. So, I’ll wait. I want to see your next move, chess piece.


I’m in a relationship now. Its been very much how a relationship should be. The difference is both of us are much wiser, getting into this. I have no regrets too, she is my right decision. And, the great part is she listen. Not just hearing what I said but truly listening. I’m  happy.:-D

Since you like to ask it : yea, I’m into long-term relationship. I’m very much old-fashioned that I’d rather be serious with the one who I will devote my feeling rather than play catch and release. So, this glue will stick. 😉 how long? very long, i believe. Also, the good part is : I can dream of the future with you. Vividly. Don’t worry,darlin’. Things will be better. And like this one person who-I don’t-remember the name said

“Love must be as much a light as it is a flame”

Be my light and flame. I’ll be yours.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. dfarhana permalink
    December 24, 2008 11:47 am

    your training sounded like preparing for a big war. huhu.

    halusinasi cool apa 🙂

    i know this will sound mean but i do think if you gave your best to people, you deserve the best from others too.

    ahha. and i love to hear your rantings too, deng.

    the quote is from someone named henry smthng.

    p/s : if my definition of light is lampu kalimantang, boleh ke? :p

  2. December 26, 2008 12:11 am

    haha. adik cakap “bukan senang nak dapat nombor satu, tapi lagi susah nak kekalkan nombor satu” 😉

    lampu kalimantang sungguh terang,sungguh kamu akan menerangi hidupku seterang itu? I like.

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